When Greatness Feels Like It Does Not Belong To You

 So, it's becoming a habit now.

The writing, followed by the doubting, then the procrastinating, and finally the abandoning... a short interval and then a regeneration of the writing... followed by the doubting, etc etc.

We just got to Orlando for the August 2018 International Maxwell Certification event.

This means I'm now surrounded by a veritable smorgasbord of life-giving, positive people... isn't that wonderful?

Almost everyone says, what happened to the blogs? And I'm like, meh, I'm just not feeling it and it just feels like too much right now... 

I saw Anna on my way to the loo (the restroom).

I was busting for the loo, seriously. Plus I was wearing a jumpsuit so I knew all sorts of shenanigans awaited me in the stall as I would try and wrestle out of my lovely tangerine concoction...

However, Anna and I have connected online and never yet met, so I really wanted to stop and chat. I crossed one leg over the other, and that same line 'what happened to the writing?' (and other nice things I don't want to type hear in case you think I am big headed)

Anna is quite a woman. Fierce, and intelligent - very aware... bright and yet still loving. Courageous. She said she too struggled to write... she is in public service with such a fascinating story, but she too acknowledged the pressure to be engaging, and interesting and to say something that really means something.

We hugged and I ran to the loo, shimmying out of the jumpsuit with not a second to lose!

As I washed my hands, I thought: why does everyone make 'stepping into your greatness' sound like the easiest thing in the world when it's the hardest?

It's sounds like it's a hop, skip and a graceful jump, but it's clawing, and falling down and getting scraped and feeling like a fool a lot of the time... this so-called stepping into greatness.

What if you don't feel so great?

What if you feel like greatness doesn't belong to you? 

What if you really think greatness is reserved for others?

I saw Jessie on my way up to dinner, young, beautiful - just starting out. She's just published her first book. There was no anguish or angst there - it just WAS. She was out there publishing a book, minding her own business. 

I really admire that.

I wonder if really, we pretend all these obstacles are in our way of us standing in our greatness (no time, no money, no inspiration, etc etc) but actually it's just our small selves, standing guard - ready to trip us up at the first sight of us making that first, tentative step.

Stepping into greatness is not for wimps. Not sure I am there yet...