There Is No Other Life But This

I sit here with a glass of red wine thinking perhaps writing is a little like driving and perhaps one shouldn't drink and write... but here goes anyway.

D messaged me today.  I don't know how I connected with D, but she is a very beautiful, very 'together', very 'all-the-things-I-think-I-lack-she-does-not' kind of woman... living in NYC with her handsome husband.  She messaged me about our move to the US, and said, it "seems big to me and I want to let you know I'm inspired by your courage to do that."

My first thought was, psssh... courage?  Nope. You inspired by me?  Let's try another nope.

And as the day has gone on (doing chores I find my thoughts seem to come together in some semblance of logic... maybe it's the monotony of them, let's the mind flow a little better, a little easier?) I thought:

What looks like courage and sounds like courage often feels to us like basic survival and it tastes like basic survival, and it sure smells like basic survival.

But that doesn't mean it's not courage.

The message from D just caught me at a 'what-the-heck' moment... so much going on, so much going wrong.

'And this is viewed from afar as COURAGEOUS?'

After I pick myself up from laughing so hard, I see that I'm a so 'in it' right now that I just can't see it that way. I replied to D and said "it doesn't feel courageous right now, but I think looking back when we get to the 'other side' of this season it might seem so"

And isn't that a shame?

It's so hard for me to get past the treadmill, to get past the 'survival mode', to stop and say... you're doing so well Sooze... keep going... this is what you wanted, you're DOING IT. I am so busy keeping up with everything going on I rarely enjoy seeing my journey as others might.  I would never say, wow, I am brave... I am courageous. Even typing that feels uncomfortable.

I do this to others too, I see D, I think she has this perfect life... and we all know she probably doesn't.  Why am I so much happier to see the best in her than I am in me?

People are observing you, right now, and thinking that what you are doing with your life is somehow beyond them.

They could 'never' grow their business like that.

They could 'never' be as confident as you.

That they look a mess when they walk out the door and you look fabulous.

It all looks and sounds perfect and wonderful from afar.

But we know the 'truth' don't we? Because no one sees the other bits, the scary bits... the ugly bits... the striving and the stretching and the trying... all the trying. How exhausting that trying is.

You know what they see?

They see YOU without all the sh!t you have piled on yourself - without all the negativity, without all the drama.

They see beauty and courage.

It doesn't cross out all the hard bits, or make them disappear - they just see the work in progress and guess what?  They see the work in progress is making progress!  It looks really good when observed from a neutral vantage point.

Could we perhaps step to one side and see it that way too?

(And just an aside ladies, if we girls, we women, just accepted how awesome we really are we would be so much happier 😊)

Today, Amelie and Eliza and I went to the mall, and went to this cute stationery store.  Both Amelie and I have a penchant for all things pen, paper and notebook.  As we queued at the till, there were some journals from knockknockstuff.com.  One said 'I'm Lovable' and the other 'I Totally Got This': Amelie was like, I know I'm lovable... so she picked the other, as I clutched onto the 'I'm lovable' wondering how she is so far ahead of me psychologically and emotionally!

I guarantee someone sees you as brave, or beautiful, or confident, or whatever you think you are not, and guess what? YOU ARE!

You. Totally.  Are.  

You should just go ahead and own it, and claim some more of that good stuff.  Yes, more of it! Why not?

Just because it feels, tastes and smells not so good to you right now, just know it looks and sounds so good to some one looking on.  They want some of what you're having! And if you're not even enjoying what you're having... isn't that a pity?

Thoreau said "You must live in the present, launch yourself on every wave, find your eternity in each moment. Fools stand on their island opportunities and look toward another land. There is no other land, there is no other life but this.”

I LOVE that.

"There is no other land, there is no other life but this."

There. Is. No. Other. Life. But. This.

Isn't it time we embraced this life?  Hugged it to our chests?  Held it close? Encouraged it?  Fed it? Saw it for what it really is? Gave it a high five? Cheered it on? Admired it? 

We do it for friends and acquaintances, but we often struggle to do it for our own life, our own beautifully precious, unique existence.  

There is no other life but this, let's not waste it.

PS.  I just read the journal front page in full and it made me laugh... it says "I'M LOVABLE! A journal to proclaim my total lovability, even if I can be a real grump sometimes, am awkward at parties, sulk when I lose, and tend to overlook my awesome qualities, which are shockingly easy to dismiss when everything around me as well as the tiny evil dictator in my head keep telling me I'm a disappointment and I need to fix my "flaws" despite the fact that they're actually pretty minimal compared to some other people, because if I'm kind to myself in a world that can be pretty darned nasty, I'll be happier than any nitwit who makes me doubt myself in the first place."  Amen to that!!!! (I thought in the spirit of non-plagarism I should link to aforementioned journal you can buy here)