The Messy Bit

I was just exchanging messages with a lovely person asking about our move. When the conversation ended I read it back, and thought 'oh goodness! I sound like a complete sour-puss!!!'

I have been feeling really guilty because I am finding the move so hard.

Since we got here I have been so emotional, and just not feeling myself.

I guess I wanted to post this because it's entirely possible to have a burning desire for something, to work towards something for such a long time - years and years in fact, and then feel totally flat when it finally happens. Anti-climatic doesn't explain it enough, it's more like so overwhelmingly huge, such a staggering leap, that I can't process or comprehend it???

I know it's just a cloud, a phase, a moment... where I recalibrate and adjust and come to terms with all the changes.

But it feels... horrible, and kinda scary. And I did not expect to feel like this, AT ALL.

I wonder how many people experience this in their business, or relationships... any big changes - and think it's a 'sign' that they shouldn't move forward or they should change plans?

For me, I've learnt the hard way that all good things come at a cost or a sacrifice, and it's your willingness to 'give up to go up' that counts. Especially with the big, scary, life-changing stuff.

It's so easy for me to help others to see they should be kind to themselves, to give themselves space and time... but we don't often offer that courtesy to ourselves, do we? So my plan is to wallow a little bit :) walk on the beach, hug my kids, kiss my husband, and generally try and shake it off in my own sweet time.

I love what Brené Brown says in #RisingStrong "The middle is messy but it's also where the magic happens"... Guess this is the messy bit...